The 9 Deaths Of The Ninja
The 9 Deaths Of The Ninja (1985) Rewatch? ❎
Look, I’ve had a crap day, woke up from a nap and did a search for ninja films on Prime and this was near the top. Within twenty minutes I was fairly convinced I was having an out of body experience, hallucinating an entire film. If I’d have bothered to find out it was by the same guy behind Demonwarp before clicking play I might have been more prepared but ultimately, I don’t think it’s humanly possible to be prepared for any of this.
I completely lost it at the line “It would take a tougher man than you to pull apart industrial epoxy”, just words you never expect to be said in that particular order to another human being. There is melon chopping, kitten kissing, tennis racket guitar playing, Anthony Keidis’ dad has a monkey with a nappy on, he shoots a cigarette in one scene because he can’t light it. Kane Kosugi (about ten years old at this point) pours lighter fuel on someone’s blue undies and sets their arse on fire. On a bus, obviously.
Before the (frankly wild) opening credits sequence I was under the misapprehension that this was going to be your average VHS jingoistic action film but turned up one louder. And for a few minutes at the start, it totally is. I couldn’t possibly tell you what it is after that. There’s more in any three minutes of this film that some films manage in their entire runtime and not for one second could I ever say why any of it is happening. You could never guess how the bad guy gets killed. You just couldn’t see it coming. He certainly didn’t.
Absolutely amazing stuff. Thank you barely awake me for clicking that button. This one’s a keeper.