Bloodbeat
Bloodbeat (1983)
Psychic psychosexual samurai slaughter that I’m sure made sense to somebody somewhere down the line but not to me, not even slightly. I’m not sure I could adequately explain it! There’s a very, very long (by film standards) orgasm, a psychic painter, a samurai killer and a whole bucketload of vision mixer stuff to add to the weird.
It’s oddly captivating in its cheapness and its soundtrack is certainly something as it veers between someone pressing random buttons on a synthesizer and the odd classical piece, there’s not much to hold onto beyond that because, well, it’s unfathomable. I don’t really think it’s spoiling anything to say that the samurai gets defeated by the power of Carmina Burana because you’re not going to be watching this to see how the story unfolds.
Most of it can, I suspect, be explained away by this one gem of a line from the Wikipedia entry for the film, “Fabrice-Ange Zaphiratos was under the influence of drugs during at least some of the writing process and the filming”.
Like, no shit, it shows. It’s the sort of incoherence that has you thinking “fuck, I bet whoever made this was wrecked as shit” because it’s that very specific wrecked as shit sort of incoherence. Not one where you think ambition outstrips budget or talent, not one where you think someone is just having a fuck around, not one where it’s anything but “woah man, press that button again, hahahahaha fuck yes” as they try not to knock the vision mixer over again. I don’t know where the orgasm fits into all this.
It’s zero budget stuff at its most zero budget and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it because I totally did. I reckon it’s going to be a slog for most people and sure, I don’t think there’s any of this I could pass off as a recommendation but if you fancy a slightly weird no budget almost-slasher with more than its fair share of standard optical effects, this is definitely the place to look for it.